So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
