uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
