i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
