I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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