Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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