Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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