I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
