I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Randomize
