Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
