YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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