My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
