I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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