He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
