I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
