Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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