I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
