I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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