it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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