You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize