so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
