I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
