We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
