does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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