He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize