Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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