She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
