While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
