im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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