she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
