end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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