kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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