I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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