Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
