i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
