I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i now understand why vodka
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
