"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
