He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
