I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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