just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
