I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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