i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
