Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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