I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
