don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize