laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
