yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
