so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize