Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
