The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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