U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
