i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
