I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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