i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sarcasm needs its own font
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
