I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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