Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
