I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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