There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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