I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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