saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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