If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
